Sharing my last months with you.

Some of you know that I've been sick, really sick, during the spring and summer. And I feel that it’s my responsibility to share my story, to raise awareness among other women. The awareness I was lacking. I wish I had the knowledge at the time but sometimes you just have to learn the hard way.

Finally I feel well enough to enjoy my everyday life. Still not back to my normal physics, but slowly I’m getting there. Appreciating the small things more than ever. Feeling happy and alive. And also a bit pissed now when I’m writing this. It caused me five months of illness, made me unable to enjoy my days, forced me to take a school break and it was impossible to work. But despite all this mess, it brought me so much insights, growth and peace. I was forced to just be. Surrender. For months. I’m used to being on the go. Always hunting for something. Searching. Chasing dreams. Chasing something. Something I couldn't describe. It was just a feeling. Even though these months cost me a lot of pain, it also gave me a lot. I’m so grateful for that. I can really feel the saying “In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering”.

Leaving the mud, I found a new way of thinking and living. I landed. I feel home. Let’s recap what happened. Don’t know how to make this long story into a short one, but it all started in March. After a surgical abortion and insert of copper coil, I got sick. Super sick. High fever, cramps, extreme pain, migraine and I couldn't even walk. I called the clinic and asked if this was normal. “Sounds like a complication or infection, but due to covid we recommend you to wait”. The migraine just got worse and worse. Couldn’t leave my bed. Tried everything. Nothing helped. Was just stuck in bed, with a towel over my head and was just in such extreme pain. One week became two, two became three. My condition was shitty, I could barely walk by myself or eat. One night it got so bad that my partner felt he had to call an ambulance. The doctors thought it was meningitis since I showed all symptoms for it - extreme headache, nausea, neck stiffness, fever. But the blood test didn't show enough indications for it. They didn’t know what was wrong. Covid negative. They treated me with heavy drugs so I could go home the next day. But the nightmare just continued. And I guess the heavy drugs ( morfine etc) brought some side effects, because the heaviness in my body was just next level. I couldn't lift my legs, couldn’t walk to the toilet by myself, had cramps that I couldn't affect. Thanks to my partner I got help, food and love. He was next to me in my bed for weeks.

I continued to feel shitty with fever every second day, heavy headache 24/7, super stiff and painful neck & shoulders, joint pain, weight loss, hair loss, brain fog, tiredness, super sensitive to stimulation etc. And the extreme migraines continued to hit every now and then. In and out from the hospital. Different drugs. But never no doctor who really wanted to understand the reason behind all of it. They just wanted to lower the symptom, and of course it will continue if you never make an effort to find the root cause, so you can actually treat and help the body. Because I knew something was wrong. I have never ever felt so sick and in such a shitty condition, and never experienced such a horrible migraine. I prayed. I cried. I gave up so many times. I’ve never been a fan of western medicine, but realized that sometimes you need to put your guard down and accept to receive help. Even though I dropped all my theories, herb medicines and really asked for help, the doctors kind of turned their backs after their new medicine prespection. They did some blood tests and scans. But nothing odd there. So they said,” then it has to be a burnout. You don’t seem to be so happy?”. I was in such a lovely space in life and told them that I am happy. Except that I feel horrible in my physical body, and of course that affects the inside, but this has nothing to do with stress or unhappiness. I know myself and my body. I know that you don’t have fever, infection results and all other weird symptoms when you are depressed. But they continued with saying “the first reaction is denial”. I didn’t follow their recommendation to take anti-depression meds, because I knew that was not the case.

I felt so helpless.

The weeks become months. It’s early in July. I got the diagnosis of chronic migraine. Took heavy medicine, but it barely helped at all. I hate drugs but I knew if I didn’t take it, it would get even worse and I wouldn’t even make it out of bed. Felt like a prisoner in my own body. I did everything I could from home with my own knowledge from Ayurveda, yoga and as a holistic health coach. The doctor said, “maybe you can try to move your body and you will become happier? Do you know what mindfulness is?” Are you kidding me?

From March to July I had asked 8 different doctors if this could be something connected to the abortion and the insert of the coppar coil ( kopparspiral)? Because that’s when it all started. Some of them just said “Absolutely not!”, and some just laughed.

I just couldn’t get my theory out of my head. It has to be something connected to it! When there were days where I could use my phone and tried to do some research, I started to google complications of copper coils. When I read women's stories, I got goosebumps all over my body, it felt like they described my previous months. I found the FB group for swedish females with copper poisoning. 8000 members, 8000 women who have been through similar things. In the group we share our own story and everyone helps each other. Discussions on what you can do, sharing & understanding, giving advice to reduce all the symptoms and the croncis complications you can get from copper poisoning. As you can understand, I realized I had to remove it. Now. So I had it done the day after. I understood that it was the copper coil that made me sick. In other words - I had got copper poisoning.

Everything just made sense. All the symptoms. Dear body, damn you’ve been fighting and you’re tired. But copper is heavy metal. And it leaks out in your bloodstream, joints, organs. So even though I took it out, there are still traces of it in my body. Still giving the symptoms. And unfortunately it takes at least six months until I can be clean and completely healthy. It’s hard to get it out. It takes time.

I give my body good food, slow movements, kind thoughts and I’ve found an amazing woman who works with natural medicine that helps me and my body. Since I met her in August it keeps getting better every day. I could start to go for walks, cook my own food, talk with friends and enjoy my days for real. Couldn't be happier. Back to school, back to movements, back to my true self, back to my life.

During period and ovulation, the symptoms come back, although milder and milder each time. I still have a lot of headaches, I still have to eat migraine medicine daily until the headache is gone 100%. But I listen and step back as soon my body tells me to. It’s not far away until I can go back to natural medicines and my physique. I will continue to recover and help my body after these tough months with illness and pain. I feel so grateful for my gut who told me to not let go of my theory even though every doctor shot it down. I feel so grateful for the FB group who gave me support & tips. I feel damn grateful for my partner who was there day and night. And so crazy grateful for my body. I have so much respect for my temple. My home. Will continue to give it love. And such a strong reminder of how blessed I am, who can get back to be 100% healthy again. I have been thinking a lot of everyone who gets an autoimmune diagnosis, cancer and other scary diseases. I’m deeply grateful that this was only temporarily. And I will not take my health and my body for granted again. Hug your body tonight, it is doing the best it can <3

And for those of you who are thinking “why did you insert a copper coil in your body?”.

I stopped with birth control pills 7 years ago, and was against all types of contraceptives, so since then 100% natural. By using apps and listening to my body I can “control” it. And protect myself with condoms. Mm. Yea. I wish that it was that easy. After a tough decision and the abortion surgery, I promised myself to never ever end up there again. I promised myself to not take it lightly. The midwife said copper coil doesn’t contain any hormones which makes it the most natural birth control option. I shared my concerns and doubts but she calmed me. “That can’t happen with copper coils”, “It doesn’t contain any hormones so you will not even notice it”. In that vulnerable situation it felt like the only path to take. For many it works perfectly. For some it doesn't. But the midwives silences it. So women to women, let’s inform each other. I wish I heard someone with a story like this, then I would probably never have thought of inserting a copper coil. Or if so, I would’ve probably drawn conjunction and conclusions after the first weeks. If anyone needs to know what to do if it happens to you or anyone you know, I’m here to help. Just dm me and I will share some tips, and invite you to the FB group.

With Love,

L